BullSh%t Lover 101

Aside from all the BullSh%t he taught me

how to learn, like, kiss, trust, fight, laugh

hold...

And through his masterpiece of an un-pormising heart

he dug down deep enough inside my heart of fear

that rejected how to learn, like, kiss, trust, fight, laugh, hold and........

And through his masterpiece of an un-promising heart

he taught me through the all the BullSh%t

how to LOVE!

Peace, Love & Musik

AngeliK hAlo

a S E R I O U S matter

Love is MANY things,

It's varied...

BUT one thing it is not,

And can NEVER be...

Is UNSURE!!

                                                                 

 -Soror Maya Angelou-

this is a S E R I O U S   M A T T E R
i've been heartbroken
one too many times

it all starts off with ME
telling them that they can't have what THEY want
BUT they feed me their bullshit about how they'll be patient

finally when time takes too long they get tired in the fourth quarter
and come to a realization that i was the wrong game they tried to play
i DONT play games

can i just get one gentleman God...
who will respect my body and his
and know that this here is a S E R I O U S matter??

i've even had someone whom was supposed to be my phirst love
to propose to me  and give the f'ing ring to his other ex
whom he told me he didn't want to spend his life with anymore

i tried to act like it didn't hurt
BUT guess what??
IT DID!!

i'm tired of being the victim
especially when i don't make anyone else the victim

so many guys wonder why i don't buy that charm they turn on for me...
because i've been heartbroken
one too many times

remember this is a S E R I O U S matter!!
a relationship is a SE R I O U S matter!!
love is a S E R I O U S matter!!
and my love...
will always...
be...
a S E R I O U S...
MAT-TER!!

Peace, Love & Musik...
AngeliK hAlo
5/19/2009

bitter....sweet

BITTER & SWEET WATER CAN'T RUN FROM THE SAME FOUNTAIN

♥

L O V E
the next time is going to be d i f f e r e n t......

diamonds in your back.........

you look better leaving than you do coming..........

inner butterflies

B E A U T Y does not come from outside compliments or suggested outfits....

or from fake bff's who laugh behind your back about your "beat" twitpiks....

nor does it come from some pant-saggers fecthing to tell you "aye lil momma waddup doh"

& definately not from midnight juicy sex that supposedly made your face glow...

it should never come from those baby clothes that you wear every day...

just so your clevage can hang out for everybody to see that your titties look like they know how to pray... 

shouldn't even come from that barbie make-up you bought last night...

especially not those runway wednesday pumps you wear everyday......just so the crowds remarks scream *beat b!tch*....

..........

..........

..........

many have really mistaken what B E A U T Y is...

you see B E A U T Y does not come from any magical enhancers....

BUT it comes from what matters the most….what's inyour H E A R T
your I N N E R   B U T T E R F L I E S

L O S T L O V E R S

i miss his smile & his kisses when we were together

almost seems like today would be better if it were like yesterday

now all i've got are these mental photgraphs of us that i still keep close to my heart

aaaahhh remember the times when we use to be hungry & scrape up just enough money to share dollar nachos *memories*

your phamily loved me...i definately loved your phamily...heart-felt memories to keep

lowkey it was much harder letting your phamily go than it was letting our relationship go........

but you see P E R F E CT I O N is not just about control...it's also about letting go....

Peace, Love & Music...

AngeliK hAlo

IN MY EYES..................

you’ll never understand the interpretations of what i see until you look through my eyes….

Unbearing Pain

Inspired: "Check Check" Julia *Peaches* Player


I'm not sure how to start.. It's like unbearing pain trying to let your sobs speak out from a lost soul.
Question is: How can someone so Beautiful be subsided with such an Ugly death?

Before I could react correctly I felt my thoughts go limp. SPEECHLESS to the point where my brain sent a message to the rest of my body to say Something, Anything, BUT my spirit was too heavy to speak out for me.

I stood there and watched her in that bed like I was watching paint dry. I saw her and my limbs caught insomnia while my heart got crunk off of mixed emotions. Caught in the midst of grief I tried to forget that last vision in my memories of her face. Her face resembled an artwork that was so beautiful, yet scratched by trial and error.

Why so young? Why so soon? Why her? Why? Why not a malester, or rapist, or thief, or murderer?

I now understand that its not about being selfish with life, but its about being selfish with God's purpose for your life. We should be addicted to His GRACE and willing to confess to our habbits that its not about what I like to do on this Earth, BUT its about what God wants me to do to fulfill my purpose.

You see She fulfilled her purpose just in time to leave a great seed behind to compltet her extra credit for her. She wasn't stuck like us lost ones trying to get homework done that was supposed to be completed one too many times from now. We're LATE!

It's critical that I say this, BUT we sleep too often on life and it is past-due-time to WAKE UP. It shouldn't take someone to die, fulfill their purpose and leave behind a remarkable story to tell while we're still stuck here. Still stuck here writing out our phirst page, especially when we know that we should be living out a saga of God's desires for our lives.

You see with this most prized possession that we call life we're conditioned to work on ourselves in order to help others, BUT we're also destined to help others in order to work on ourselves.
RESTATEMENT: "we work on ourselves to help others, and we help others in order to wokr on oursleves."
Just listening to God's request and allowing him to begin to have a relationship with you can very well be the poisen to our unbearing pain.

The unbearing pain was not eating away at my heart because of the way she died, BUT the unbearing pain was so heavy because she set such a great example fr us "common people" to follow and its seemed to have still leave some of us catching insomnia on God's message. See if we read between the lines more often we'll find inlife that : We face unbearing pain because we don't listen, We...unbearing pain because we don't listen, We...pain because we don't listen, We...because we don't listen, We...don't listen!
Peace, Love, & Music,
AngeliK hAlo