Declaration of Pain

DECLARED!

people can never clarify truth

of really understanding someone elses pain

until they've truthfully attest

that they have personally

been in the other's position before

Bi-standArd lyRiicist

Tussling with her stability
My limbs grasp the feeling of quick sand and solidity
My mind holds back just enough of her freedom
doing the physical a favor from screaming the truth
The physical breathes uneasy
nervous about how much domination the mind is capable of possessing
Afraid of her beauty
Her poise swift and uneasy
Her confidence gives life to dry thoughts
Her power reins strong enough to break barriers
Her lips moist like honey to ease her way out into reality
Her arrogance to claim such a title
as a bi-standard lyricistSubject to hypocrisy
Liar to the truth
My heart mourns over the Segregation
Cries for serenity
"meh don't want war"
Mind drinks from her own fountain
While the body dies of thirst daily
Refusing to be quenched by her
Seduced by her
Both Liars
Mind lies to stop the physical from killing her
Physical lies to keep the mind from living out loud
"stay away from my conversations"
"cease your public existence"
"you're a nobody"
"you'll ruin my being"
"get off my balls"
"stay in your place"
My physical becomes a routine luxury
too perfect to disappoint the Church
Seeking security only to find familiarity in gray's anatomy
Fence Living
Confused analogies
Am I ommitting my salvation because my mind wants to live a little?
Is it questionable because my mind longs for a chance at life?
How can I be saved if salvation means being freed of your bondage?
but holding back my thoughts makes me feel bound?!
My inner life is tangled in rusted chains
frightened to free herself
Lost on how to adapt to life without bondage
Afraid for eyes to see how dirty her white garments are
Wondering when will the sun go down
So that it's dark enough to avoid the eyes scowling at her imperfections
In search of her cage
Her physical being
Desperate to feel some skin
Anything to hide
Just stay in the gray
Too many permanent stains to be pure
But too innocent to be black
Ruined!
The mind speaks of
Fence walking Thoughts
Fractional summations
Confused conclusions
Struggles of trying to make a living out of speaking freely
The mind---that girl
Strangled from being who she really is
Knowing she'll never be able to speak of her own expressions
own emotions
feelings
Silenced from spirituality
Her title remains unknown

"Bi-Standard Lyricist"

Peace, Love, & Music
AngeliK hAlo

The Phone Spe@ks AGAIN

Me: *awaits another 7 page text message*

Message Spe@ks: “If God is love I must be the glove that fits every mans hand sometimes even a woman .. Epitomizing self worth and life’s royalty, Gods love has taught me about all of my exs loyalty and how to love and kno a crook .. How to read him deeper than his looks.. Cause if looks could kill the world would be silent but my love is not quiet it’s not bland neither does it seek.. It’s finds and defines the fine fathers in which ur minds speaks and carries a bigger burden than an underground DJ.. I sit and I stall at all the artists that are out thus far and figure their imbalance of happiness to self riches and egocentric sayings.. All for another shot at being the worlds greatest! Im not desperate for this life.. This Life chose me so wen I make it I’ll give thanks to that same love that kept me sane surreal and sufficient and not forget who escorted me on that ladder of shame not fame I proclaim this game as chess and possess the will to fill the shoes of history’s mark and be the mark that left a permanent scar on ppls psyche mic  emotions and be the their every trend that they wake up to .. To face their closet, their mirror and their adversity.. I sing to the advanced minds of children because they remember best, and pass on word of mouth like answers on a test.. I won’t be a statistic with my talent as my witness. With an expensive tongue for CHANGE I’d change mwhey rival topics just to meet the needs and pleasings of fans . For theyre who that follow u and tweet ur every move .. And is the very reason I’m relevant so if I die it’ll be about getting these dead presidents and crafting mind over matter into the natural ethics of life. Be patient life gets better with time so Cherletta shall project the elegance of time and show u Wat my father put me on this earth to do! Love and sing.. One love two fangazzzz ;)C.F. ;)”

Let Your Phone Speak

Me: *sees a 7 page text message coming in from a friend*

Message Reads: ”Im sitting in a tub of warm water with my toes against the cold bottle of body wash .. Wishing that zebra stripes were asymmetrical and finding nemo under the dripping bath cloth I used to wipe the bottoms of my feet! Hush!!There are cold Cheerios for dinner awaiting a sudden movement of thrust with lust I dream about that old rugged spoon that I’ll use to eat upon such flour caloric disaster but I’m a girl and I’d eat just half just to have a moment of fulfillment then I’ll go after the dog to feed it and lay with it on my shoe til he decides to fart a tune of a vintage tuba and ill slay the earthling whosoever it shall BE 4thinking that breeding a precious dog for a little cash to get some a&$ was ok!;( this I kno is bad.! I’m sick of the roaring and the tides of Alabama and elephant roars in my sleep it’s deeper than u think if u think wen u think it’s probably absolutely nothing.Breathe slower I’m suffocating in thots of matters in the world ur the reason y….Thank u . C. F. There ya go B”

L.i.f.E.

Don’t rush………..enjoy life as much as you can..create unforgettable memories and laugh until your stomach hurts..sing out loud until you get a migrane…hit bad notes sometimes then you’ll begin to realize that those bad notes can create a beautiful song…Dont rush………live it up

the O.N.E.?

How do I know if he’s the one??

The O.N.E. is someone you can imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with…someone you don’t have to second guess to trust…someone you can truly say you’re attracted to physically and emotionally… Someone you’re not afraid to be your full self with around naked eyes…someone that gives you butterflies everytime they smile, come around, call you, hug you, kiss you…someone that exposes you to their worst skeletons they’ve been hiding and you STILL love them the same..thats how I know if he’s

the O.N.E.

tears

Sometime's we allow ourselves to build up a wall so steap to an instance where our emotions become stagnant...so stagnant to where we block them by the wall that we've built....a wall blocking our emotions so deep within in us that we forget how to cry......(I AM A VICTIM)...I've learned that my biggest fear is becoming intimate with my tears...sometimes people seem to forget that tears are like medicine to the soul as much as laughter is....doesn't hurt to cry sometimes....can't hold your emotions in forever....let your pride go...everyone gets hurt...cry....let it go....
Peace, Love & Musik
AngeliK hAlo

The Walls Group-Draw Me Nearer.mov

BullSh%t Lover 101

Aside from all the BullSh%t he taught me

how to learn, like, kiss, trust, fight, laugh

hold...

And through his masterpiece of an un-pormising heart

he dug down deep enough inside my heart of fear

that rejected how to learn, like, kiss, trust, fight, laugh, hold and........

And through his masterpiece of an un-promising heart

he taught me through the all the BullSh%t

how to LOVE!

Peace, Love & Musik

AngeliK hAlo

a S E R I O U S matter

Love is MANY things,

It's varied...

BUT one thing it is not,

And can NEVER be...

Is UNSURE!!

                                                                 

 -Soror Maya Angelou-

this is a S E R I O U S   M A T T E R
i've been heartbroken
one too many times

it all starts off with ME
telling them that they can't have what THEY want
BUT they feed me their bullshit about how they'll be patient

finally when time takes too long they get tired in the fourth quarter
and come to a realization that i was the wrong game they tried to play
i DONT play games

can i just get one gentleman God...
who will respect my body and his
and know that this here is a S E R I O U S matter??

i've even had someone whom was supposed to be my phirst love
to propose to me  and give the f'ing ring to his other ex
whom he told me he didn't want to spend his life with anymore

i tried to act like it didn't hurt
BUT guess what??
IT DID!!

i'm tired of being the victim
especially when i don't make anyone else the victim

so many guys wonder why i don't buy that charm they turn on for me...
because i've been heartbroken
one too many times

remember this is a S E R I O U S matter!!
a relationship is a SE R I O U S matter!!
love is a S E R I O U S matter!!
and my love...
will always...
be...
a S E R I O U S...
MAT-TER!!

Peace, Love & Musik...
AngeliK hAlo
5/19/2009

bitter....sweet

BITTER & SWEET WATER CAN'T RUN FROM THE SAME FOUNTAIN

♥

L O V E
the next time is going to be d i f f e r e n t......

diamonds in your back.........

you look better leaving than you do coming..........

inner butterflies

B E A U T Y does not come from outside compliments or suggested outfits....

or from fake bff's who laugh behind your back about your "beat" twitpiks....

nor does it come from some pant-saggers fecthing to tell you "aye lil momma waddup doh"

& definately not from midnight juicy sex that supposedly made your face glow...

it should never come from those baby clothes that you wear every day...

just so your clevage can hang out for everybody to see that your titties look like they know how to pray... 

shouldn't even come from that barbie make-up you bought last night...

especially not those runway wednesday pumps you wear everyday......just so the crowds remarks scream *beat b!tch*....

..........

..........

..........

many have really mistaken what B E A U T Y is...

you see B E A U T Y does not come from any magical enhancers....

BUT it comes from what matters the most….what's inyour H E A R T
your I N N E R   B U T T E R F L I E S

L O S T L O V E R S

i miss his smile & his kisses when we were together

almost seems like today would be better if it were like yesterday

now all i've got are these mental photgraphs of us that i still keep close to my heart

aaaahhh remember the times when we use to be hungry & scrape up just enough money to share dollar nachos *memories*

your phamily loved me...i definately loved your phamily...heart-felt memories to keep

lowkey it was much harder letting your phamily go than it was letting our relationship go........

but you see P E R F E CT I O N is not just about control...it's also about letting go....

Peace, Love & Music...

AngeliK hAlo

IN MY EYES..................

you’ll never understand the interpretations of what i see until you look through my eyes….

Unbearing Pain

Inspired: "Check Check" Julia *Peaches* Player


I'm not sure how to start.. It's like unbearing pain trying to let your sobs speak out from a lost soul.
Question is: How can someone so Beautiful be subsided with such an Ugly death?

Before I could react correctly I felt my thoughts go limp. SPEECHLESS to the point where my brain sent a message to the rest of my body to say Something, Anything, BUT my spirit was too heavy to speak out for me.

I stood there and watched her in that bed like I was watching paint dry. I saw her and my limbs caught insomnia while my heart got crunk off of mixed emotions. Caught in the midst of grief I tried to forget that last vision in my memories of her face. Her face resembled an artwork that was so beautiful, yet scratched by trial and error.

Why so young? Why so soon? Why her? Why? Why not a malester, or rapist, or thief, or murderer?

I now understand that its not about being selfish with life, but its about being selfish with God's purpose for your life. We should be addicted to His GRACE and willing to confess to our habbits that its not about what I like to do on this Earth, BUT its about what God wants me to do to fulfill my purpose.

You see She fulfilled her purpose just in time to leave a great seed behind to compltet her extra credit for her. She wasn't stuck like us lost ones trying to get homework done that was supposed to be completed one too many times from now. We're LATE!

It's critical that I say this, BUT we sleep too often on life and it is past-due-time to WAKE UP. It shouldn't take someone to die, fulfill their purpose and leave behind a remarkable story to tell while we're still stuck here. Still stuck here writing out our phirst page, especially when we know that we should be living out a saga of God's desires for our lives.

You see with this most prized possession that we call life we're conditioned to work on ourselves in order to help others, BUT we're also destined to help others in order to work on ourselves.
RESTATEMENT: "we work on ourselves to help others, and we help others in order to wokr on oursleves."
Just listening to God's request and allowing him to begin to have a relationship with you can very well be the poisen to our unbearing pain.

The unbearing pain was not eating away at my heart because of the way she died, BUT the unbearing pain was so heavy because she set such a great example fr us "common people" to follow and its seemed to have still leave some of us catching insomnia on God's message. See if we read between the lines more often we'll find inlife that : We face unbearing pain because we don't listen, We...unbearing pain because we don't listen, We...pain because we don't listen, We...because we don't listen, We...don't listen!
Peace, Love, & Music,
AngeliK hAlo